Feeling Trapped

We, as humans, always have to take the slower path. Going through the motions day by day. Agonisingly long days I might add. It's frustrating when you know exactly where you want to be but aren't there yet, and don't have the means to get there yet. It can take weeks, months, even years, but with patience and hard work, it's possible to reach that destination, no matter how long. It's hard when you want to skip ahead, to see your life and exactly how it panned out but unfortunately, we can't. There is no fast forward button, you have to experience everything first-hand and make the decisions ourselves.

There is something that everyone alive on this planet wants and that is freedom. We believe we have it but we don't, not really. Being forced into education for 14 years, then having to pursue further education or forced into a job just in order to survive. Being forced to decide on a career path while being called 'just a kid', what do you want us to believe? Are we capable adults able to make our own decision, or do you want to continue belittling us? In the early years of our lives, we are trapped, and freedom is something we all crave. To be able to follow your dreams is something not everyone has the support system, time or money to do and that's the saddest part about being trapped, not being able to find the key.

You can be trapped in so many different ways. Trapped within the four walls of a video on a computer screen, never being able to connect or articulate fully. You can be trapped in the words of a blog post, a confined space in which no-one gets to know you, wholly. Trapped in a home that doesn't accept you, trapped in a system that wants to push you into any ol' job, trapped behind school gates, trapped in the thought process that you're not capable, trapped and restricted in what you can say or able to express. Suffocated by thoughts and ideas and creativity, all swirling inside your head, begging to be released but even they are trapped, your physical self refusing or unable to express them. We are all trapped within ourselves until we eventually obtain the courage and determination to grab freedom with both hands, and finally be able to live our lives.

Escaping the trap may mean experiencing and experimenting with different things in order to determine what you like. It makes you feel like you are an avid part in deciding your own future and fate, as opposed to going through the motions and hoping things fall into your lap. But it's also magnificently haunting. One right or wrong path, one right or wrong decision could determine your entire life and that can scare anyone away from trying anything, in case it's the wrong choice. You can become lost in the dark without any light, and you can't see those stepping stones anymore, you can't even see a path. You can't see any direction and it becomes too daunting. But this doesn't mean you stop and wait for a light, you just keep walking. Waiting isn't fun, part of the fun of life is falling over and learning that you can pick yourself up again. It's the only way you can escape the trap.

As a personal anecdote, I think something that worries me about getting a part-time job is that I'll get comfortable. It's happened to so many people. They get trapped within their job and find no means of escape because they'll lose that money or they don't feel secure enough to leave. I've felt trapped my whole life, unable to get where I want to be and now that I feel a tiny bit freer, I'm scared I'll lose that by succumbing to the same safety fate of so many other people. What if I stop pushing myself once I'm making money, find no time for my passion and lose it altogether? That terrifies me because it's just escaping one trap and falling into another, a cycle that needs to broken by every individual.

As I write this, I must re-read it and remind myself that life isn't always about the good, it's going through the bad and knowing you will come out the other side shining. Find comfort in the fact that one day you will find your passion and you can make your dreams come true. You may not see the path yet, and that's fine, there is no time limit or expiration date on what you want to do. If you're still breathing, you can still do it and you can find freedom in that.