Never apologise for being yourself

I wrote a blog post like this back in 2014, and what I wrote, I truly believed I had overcome. I've learned in recent times, I hadn't. I was still keeping quiet about what happened in my day, the things I was excited by, the great book I had read, the great film I had watched. I kept quiet because my whole life people have told me 'Shut up, Bob. You're boring, no-one cares.' I have never apologised for being myself but I've certainly tried to lock it away from the rest of the world, for fear of being told I'm boring. I've been conditioned to cut myself short when speaking or expressing myself, due to fear of no-one caring. I understand that not everyone has the same interests and passions as me, but when I give everyone the courtesy of listening to them, It would be nice to get that same sentiment in return.

There are moments in this world where we feel lost to who we are. We don't truly understand who we are or what makes us tick. As time moves forward we turn into different people, and we need this change in order to grow. Let's use me as a case study. I am not the same person I was five years ago. That girl was scared of her own shadow, untrusting of people, afraid of her own voice in public, anxious about everything. Fours years ago I was a girl studying for GCSE's and being bullied, two years ago I was beyond stressed studying for my A-levels and choosing a university. The adversity I have overcome in my life has brought me to now; a confident young woman, driven by career pursuits, with the ability to get on a stage with ease, who will stand up for people and, most importantly, myself. I'm only 19 years old, I have a lot to learn and a lot of growing to do, but the change I have gone through, and the difference in who I am today, is something, and someone, I'm proud of.

The struggles you go through and how/when you overcome them, are the true testament to how we develop and become stronger people. While I believe that we are always changing, I also believe that certain personality traits remain your whole life, and these things that have always been true about you should be cherished and worn like a name tag. Who cares if you've always been bossy? Own that. Who cares if you burst into song every other minute? Own that. Who cares if you're too loud or too quiet? Own that. You do not have to change for anyone else in the world, you're here to make the best life for yourself and that means being true to who you are (without hurting anyone, of course). The world deserves your beautiful attributes and the things that make you a unique individual, and you deserve to feel confident with who you are.

There's a quote by John Barrowman that reads, "Never apologise for being nerdy, because un-nerdy people never apologise for being assholes." I take the term 'nerdy' here to mean 'passionate'. You should never apologise for being passionate about something, whether that be a topic, film, television series, book, show or concert, anything. If you're passionate about it you should not have to hide that or be looked down upon by someone who 'doesn't get it'. I love the things I like, it makes me, me. If someone doesn't want to listen to you talk about what you're passionate about they don't care about getting to know the real you, and thus are people you don't need in your life. If someone doesn't like what I like and wants to shout me down or belittle me for that, It's not going to get to me anymore. Those people are so far from who I want respect from, and they aren't going to be the source of my happiness or people whose approval I seek. They mean nothing. I'm going to continue living my life the way that suits me best, and the way I'm happiest with, with the things that bring me the most joy.

Speaking for myself, I have always been different, not following the same trends as everyone in school, not following the advice of career mentors who wanted me to choose a safe profession, always liking what I like, just hiding it from the people who would scorn me for being myself; unique, independent and something new, something different. I'm not trying to fit into a stereotype and I'm not planning on getting lost in a herd of sheep-like so many others. I'll be on my own clear path, away from the crowd, to somewhere greater with people who accept me for who I am and the things I love that make up my personality. It certainly won't be me on a road, uncomfortable, trying to fit in and pretending to be someone I'm so clearly not.

As a side note, "It's a good thing to be strange. Normalness leads to sadness." Be who you are. Don't let irrelevant people knock you down. It would be miserable and difficult to live a mundane life, void of everything that makes you happy because of other peoples judgment. If you don't fit into the world's view of what you should be, how you should act, or what path you follow, then fine! You will be living your life happier and freer than the people who conform and are miserable keeping up appearances.

I'm writing this blog post to remind me as much as to remind whoever is reading;

never apologise for being yourself.